“I didn’t see it coming. I didn’t see the pain it would bring. Marriage must be overrated for the society to put pressure on women to run into it early enough. Perhaps, getting married at 21 was the worst mistake of my life.” I cried as my thoughts grew darker by the second.
My name is Esther Abako Lawrence, the only daughter of Mark Abako’s family. I grew up in a home full of love – My mum and dad were everything love could define. I enjoyed their daily jokes, weekly gifts and sometimes surprises to each other. There were a few times to catch them in gentle arguments, yet it was hard to deny the love between them. As I grew, I longed to have what they shared. However, I wasn’t in a hurry at all.
At age 20, I graduated from the University of Ibadan and was faced with the pressure of getting a job and bringing a man home to my parents. My aunt who lived a few miles away from us made it her duty to constantly reminding me of the time that flies by the day and the necessity to settle down before it flew past my biological clock. She was unmarried and unhappy about the troubles she faced being by herself, hence her daily song to me was: “Esther, the days are sad without a partner in your life. See how happy your mum and dad are. Take after them. Don’t be like me who threw every man that came my way away in the name of career pursuit. Esther, the biological clock of a woman ticks every day, faster than that of a man, don’t overlook it. Be intentional about settling down on time. Shine your eyes so that you would see him when he comes.”
Hmm! Her daily song did something to me. It made me a little desperate to receive my partner. So, when Ebitimi Lawrence came my way at 21, I was excited and ready to jump into marriage after 7 months of courtship, little did I know that it would be the beginning of my journey with a monster marriage.
Ebitimi Lawrence was a very handsome and wealthy man. My parents, aunt and friends were excited for me. Some people called me “lucky,” but two months into my marriage, I lost my aunt. She died of heart attack. It was a painful one indeed as her love towards our family amid being single was enormous. I was the child she never had. I cried like a baby at her funeral and thought I would never recover from the trauma of losing a great and loving aunt. But the worst struck when I lost my parents in a fatal accident two weeks later. I felt my end had come; the world was coming to an end before my eyes.
Ebitimi was my consoler all the way – It seemed like he was all I had left in my world until I discovered that he had a secret room that had the picture of my aunt and parents marked with blood and mine was the next in line. Oh my God! I almost passed out in fear. Tears gushing out of my eyes in wonder – He was a ritualist and killer? He wiped out my family and plans to kill me too? The one who has brought me to this state… the monster gradually ending my world is my husband?
I ran out of the house without taking anything or looking back. I ran to a church far away from the city Ebitimi lives in. I ran to Christ as now I know He is the only one that can save me. I narrated my story to the pastor of the church with so much pain in my heart. He led me to Christ and gave me a scripture:
“Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness”– Isaiah 41:10
I started to learn God’s word daily and grew to know him more. I started life afresh with a 9:00 am to 5:00 pm job in Uyo and also counsel women about the essence of building the right relationships and carefully selecting their marital partners in God. To imagine that I married a monster who was set to wipe out the Abako’s, me inclusive. Hmm!
“Never get caught up in the web of desperation for marriage or anything in life. The right partner would come as you give yourself to growth in God and life. Grow in your mind and spirit, daily.”
Beloved reader, before you comment, we read that Esther married after 7 good months of courtship. Why is it that she was unable to know this man very well. Think deeply and comment, I will meet you on the comment box. The best comment will get a gift. Please share this story for others to learn.
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